Pondering

Well like I said in the beginning, I'm not very good at this. I'm not sure what to share, what not too and what is an overshare. LOL

For those that know me really well. You are aware that I tend to over react and am a very emotional person. I feel deeply, love deeply and am just sometimes crazy emotional. Today is one of those days. I am totally stressed out (although I know I shouldn't be). I keep trying to tell myself that there is no reason to be this stressed but I am. I have to pack! Pack for moving to my temporary housing, pack for my trip to Hawaii (which is happening the second week of my job), and pack for the BIG move which will happen sometime between Sept. 20 to Oct. 1st. I have realized that most of my stuff is for someone with a family and a house. I.E. Craft stuff (i'm not just talking some stuff, I have enough to fill an entire bedroom : Sewing machine, thread, quilting, scrap booking, card making, knitting, jewelry making, painting, kids crafts and other stuff i'm sure , 101 cookie cutters, baking and other stuff. While I'm not complaining that I have all this great stuff. I"m not sure that 1. I can fit it in a 400-800 sq ft. apt. and 2. Will have anytime in the first year to actually do much crafting, nor may I want to. LOL

Then there is the money issue. I know that everyone thinks about money, but for me it makes me really really nervous. I have been homeless or near homeless twice in my life and have had a pretty poor life growing up, so money is always a nerve point for me. I will not get a pay check until at least the middle if not the end of Sept. Which means that I will have gone a month to a month and a half without a pay check. Ugh #1. I have to have money for bills, gas now (which since I'm not used to driving everyday to and from work has turned into a huge stress), money for rent for temp housing and then money for the deposit, first,last and fees. Ugh # 2 Then there's money for food and all the crap you have to get when you get a new place. I mostly gave everything of that nature to Danny when I kicked him out cause he had the kids so I have to re-aquire all those things.

I know that this may seems irrational, but right now its a big stressor for me.