So so much has happen since I last posted. My aunt lost her battle against Cancer. My mom came out to Kirksville for vacation. I was denied my claim for breast reduction. NH was 5th yeared. I have messed up my back even worse. Oh yeah, and now I'm on Skype
Let's start with the first one as it is the most heart breaking to me. My aunt S died on Monday March 21st. She had stage 4 cervical CA that was just diagnosed in January. I can't tell you how much my heart aches over her being gone. I'm so worried for my Uncle as they were together for over 30 years, I can't imagine what he is going through. He is so strong. When I was little I remember thinking that he was this really gruff, stoic, tattoo covered man that kinda scared me becasue he was so quiet and had piercing eyes. I have since seen the softer side of him and watching him be in so much anguish, truly breaks my heart.
So a few days before Aunt S died Mom flew out and boy did she get an experience. LOL First she was like a little kid on the drive home...are we there yet...no...okay......are we there yet....no...well how much longer. HAHAHAHA it was so funny. Then we finally get into town and the look on her face was like "my daughter actually chose to LIVE HERE?" lol We didn't do much on the first day as she was exhausted and everything (well almost everything) is closed on Sundays. So I actually got Mom to go to church with us. I was dissapointed that the choir wasn't singing that day but everyone that is in the choir was there so she kind of got to hear how good they sing. Also she came to taize service which is a candle light vigil, with singing and prayers. I think she had a good time. We ate at most of the local resturaunts and walked around the town square (also known as down town) where she got to see the local shops and do a little shopping. We did take Mom to a Brass Concert at the other college in town and that was fun! They played great and she got to see that we have just a little bit of culture here. We also went bowling (in a bowling alley that hasn't been updated since it opened in 1970's). Needless to say it was very obvious that we haven't bowled in a really long time. LOL Mom and I went to to Amish stores and a Menonite store and she even got to take pictures of a horse and buggy and an Amish farmer ploying his fields with horses. She was so excited, it was really cute. I had such a good time with my MOM, it made me miss her even more. I cried when we dropped her off at the airport even though by this time we knew that I was coming to Colorado for the funeral so I would see her in a few days.
I flew out to Colorado on Sunday, NH couldn't come because she had to go before the review board. It sucked. When I got to Colorado it was a whorl wind trip. We went and saw uncle and it hit me that aunt had died. I cried and cried and cried. We had the funeral on Monday at this Catholic church, which was totally against my aunt's wishes, she was cremated and emtombed, again against her wishes (the entombing part). The only funny (depending on how you look at it) was that the priest kept calling her the wrong name the ENTIRE funeral. I would like to think that it was her saying f-you to her family for going against her wishes and treating my unlce like crap. Anyway after the funeral, I napped and then met up with some girls from highschool and has drinks and caught up on old times. On tuesday, the day I flew back home, I went and got my forearm tattoo finished (pics to come). It looks so awesome!! I couldn't wait to get home to NH.
Anyways, I got a letter from Cigna and they have denied my claim to have insurance pay for a breast reduction. REALLY? Cause they are not big enough? NO Cause I'm too fat? NO oh wait, because the plastic surgeon didn't send photos!! WTF!!! So you better believe that I called them and they are allegedy sending photos and I am also having my primary care Dr. write a letter on my behalf. So keep your fingers crossed that they will change their mind and approve it!
So going before the review board for NH didn't turn out so well. She has been 5th yeared so that means we have to stay in this god forsaken place and extra year. She thinks I'm disapointed in her but really I'm so proud of her. She has overcome so much this last quarter and I'm sure it doesn't help that I have been having so many health problems. Which brings me to the last subject my health. So I have no idea what the hell is going on with me. I think I'm falling apart from the inside out. I have had an MRI, x-rays, and Cat scan on my back. Turns out I have arthritis in my spine (thank you parents!!) and a have disc dessication and bulge in L5-S1. Not good. Well on Wednesday night I was stretching and my back gave out and I have never been in so much pain in my life!!! I went to the ER and had a CT scan and shot of tordal and valium and was sent home. I had my follow Dr. appt today and I found out that my bulge has shifted to the left. So now I have to try steroids and if that doesn't work i have to go to the pain clinic for an epidural. UGH.... I have also been restricted from the one exercise that I was able to do, swimming, I can get in the pool and walk that it is, no water aerobic and certainly no swimming. I can only say how depressed this makes me feel. I feel like i'm fighting a losing battle. I HAVE to lose weight and was starting to with swimming and now I can't even do that! AAHHHHHH
ON a positive note, I have gotten to Skype with my nieces almost everynight and that is fun!! More later
