Sometimes my job just sucks!!

So you will all have to bear with me for a moment but I have to get this off my chest as I have been sobbing for the last 1/2 day and my heart is soo heavy. Hopefully this won't be too graphic for you.

I was working last night and received a case from Montana State Patrol. It started out as a "routine" death call. I called the Coroner and found out that it was a 2 vehicle head on collision, 3 victims total but 2 fatalities.  In the first car was a 36y/o woman and a 13 y/o boy and the other car was a 16 y/o girl.  They had collided head on and the car with 2 passengers died instantly but were trapped in the vehicle.  The extrication took 2 hours because the car was soo mangled.  The 16 y/o was taken to the hosp.   

The extent of the 16 y/o injuries were unknown, but the other two were very severe.  The mother was 4 months pregnant and had torn her Aortic Arch, broke her pelvis and shattered both legs (femur, tib/fib) and crushed her chest. OMG!! and then her son had pretty much the same injuries expect for the chest.   As you can imagine the families of these victims were just devastated(Ex-husband/Biological Dad and New Husband/Step dad).  I was going to wait to approach the families about Cornea donation until the morning as I felt they needed time to absorb what happened.

I got a call from the Coroner at about 0300  and this is pretty much how our conversation went.

"Hey Kirsty I have bad news",  " What's that?" ,  " Well this is now a Homicide"   WHAT?

He then went on to tell me that the 16 y/o driver of the other vehicle had been fighting with her boyfriend and texting him and 4 mins before the accident she texted "I am going to KILL MYSELF"

My heart stopped and I started crying!  This little selfish girl took the lives of 3 people because she didn't want to live!!!  

ARE YOU KIDDING ME.  DRIVE YOUR STUPID ASS INTO A TREE OR A SEMI!!!  WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TAKING OTHERS LIVES!!

sorry, but it just blows my mind.  Still....... ugh!!

As far as I know she is still at the hosp and is doing ok.  I am very conflicted and really unsure why this case affected me  so much.  I deal with death all day long, IT IS MY JOB!  and I am damn good at helping families with loss and the end of life decisions.   I just can't let this one go!

On a positive note, both families donated corneas and that has helped them start the healing process.  I believe in donation, but more importantly my mission is to help families grieve and to help them build a legacy for the loved one that died and through donation I have seen this happen! 

Does Anyone Even Read This Thing?

I always feel extreme guilt that I am not updating this thing alot and then I got to thinking.  Does anyone actually even read this blog or am I just writing to amuse myself?  I'm not sure that I care either way, but I need to stop feeling guilty if I'm the only one that reads what I write.  I already know what's happening in my life so I'm pretty sure I would remember it if I didn't write it down. LOL  

Anyway,  Well big things are possibly in the works for me.  I have applied for a new position at my job as a Donor Education Coordinator so we will see if i get it.  I need lots of prayers and happy thoughts.  This job would mean that I would come back to the land of the day walkers and possibly work a "normal" job M-F 9-5.  I don't think I have done that in 6 years.  HOLY MOLEY!!

As for everything else.........Welll................  I am not working out very much.  I can't tell if it is because I'm tired or just lazy or a combination of both, but it is seriously ridiculous.  I am however dragging my ass to the gym and working out this morning and am going to attempt to go everyday.  I'm probably setting myself up for failure, but I have to do something. I feel just disgusting all the time.  Ugh.

On the exciting news front,  both of my friends that are pregnant are due next month and I couldn't be happier.  They have both had great pregnancies and they are carrying multiples and the babies have all done well!!!  My littlest sister got engaged on Valentines Day and I am excited for her.  My other sister and the girls are doing well.  I have it on good authority that her hubby is finally falling into line with this daddy "stuff" and is participating  and she even got him to go to Yoga with her.  Woo Woo!!

Night in Portland and what a night!!!

On Feb. 28th, my friend and I got to go to Portland to see Itzhak Perlman (world famous Vionlist) 

The set schedule was  Bach: Violin Concerto No. 1, Schubert: Symphoney No. 3, Brahms: Sypmphony No. 2.  It was awesome, however,  Itzhak only played the first piece and then conducted the last two. It was a little decieving and dissapointing.   Anyway,  My friend Stephanie and I stayed at the Heathman Hotel which just happened to be next door from the Arlene Snitchzer Concert Hall.   Here is a Pic of the Hotel and one of the rooms.  Our's had a pull out bed for Stephanie to sleep in. 

This is the front of the Hotel.........

Here is what one of the room in the hotel.  It was soo much fun!!  

We also ate at the Ruth's Chris Steakhouse,  they cook their steaks in a 1080 degree oven and then place it on a 500 degree plate!  It was very expsensive but SOOOO worth it!  All other steaks pail incomparison now.  I am forever tainted!  lol