December

Well lots has happened in Dec.  First was finals for me and NH.  Super stressfull and NH missed passing a class by three points so now she has to remeadiate the class when we get back from Christmas break.  I pray to God that she passes or that makes us a 5 year med student. UGH  I can't stay here one more year, I think I will literally go crazy.

I had this brilliant idea that I was going to make the Christmas gifts this year because we are on such a budget. We as my usual self I procrastinated until the last minute and then I made orange marmalade, cookie mix, scone mix, NH made chocolate covered spoons, I made mom a scrapbook and Ali a blanket.  Plus I managed to get out 34 Christmas cards.  I'm exhausted again just thinking about it!.  LOL

So my insurance finally kicked in and I went to see the Dr. with a whole laundry list of things that are happending to me. It is going to be a slow and expensive process (thank you Carleen for your gift, even at such a high price).  Anyway, the Dr. agreed that I'm super depressed and have anxiety through the roof and put me on meds for that.  I also had my Vit. D checked and it was 14.9 and to give you non medical folks and idead normal levels are 33.0 to 100.0 so I'm having to Vit D3 everyday and will have it checked again in February.  I was finally able to explain to NH just how bad my anxiety was once I realized how bad it was.  My thoughts race all the time about everything, even in my sleep.  I dream about running out of money, NH failing out of school, me losing my job, people diying, paying bills, cleaning the house, cooking dinner, getting my school work done, making sure NH does her homework and passes her tests. It never stops for me, EVER.  Just writing that stressed me out and my heartrate just shot up.  UGH.   NOT to mention how much I miss my family and my friends.  I seriously didn't think it would be this hard to do this! 

So I was able to go to Colorado and spend time with my Dad and visit some people over Christmas break because my office closed and there was no where for me to work.  I had a nice relaxing time except I fell down on my back, which already hurts all the time.  We left Colorado a day early to beat a terrible storm. All in all it was a good trip!

November

So not much exciting happened in November except that neither my Dad nor my Mom came out for Thanksgiving even though they both said that they would.  Oh Well,  I made a turkey and all the stuffings and it was great!  My depression and hatred for this town is increasing.  I will be so glad when my health insurance kicks in.

Neglect, Neglect, Neglect!!

So I admit that I haven't posted in quite awhile so I have decided that I will have a series of posts (at least one for each month) that I have missed and then try very diligently to keep up on this since as of right now this is one of my only ways to vent!.  LOL   

Well as you can see from my last post I FINALLY found a job.  I'm a phlebotomist (I might have already mentioned that) working in a doctor's office.  That part is really weird for me.  The RN's are actually LPN's and it's weird how I'm soo much more qualified then they are yet I'm just the "lab girl".  I'm not used to having Dr's not speak to me or act as if I don't exist!   Oh well.

So school is a pain in my butt and I'm not used to working and school and maintaining a household and I'm quite sure that I am severely depressed not to mention exhausted!  Luckly my health care benefits kick in in December.  School is much harder for NH than she thought it would be and I'm not sure how to help her so that has added stress to me..   I"M SO FREAKING STRESSED OUT!!!

HEY HEY HEY....what do you say

I have great news!  I GOT A JOB!!!  Woo HOO....I am going to be a phlebotomist for a large lab working at a family medicine clinic.  I can't believe that it happened. It happened so quick.  I was told by a friend/doctor at church on Sunday about a potential job. She took my name, email and phone number and told me that the girl would call me about the job.  On Wednesday (Oct. 17th) the lady called me about the job and told me to go online and fill out the application and then call her Supervisor and tell her that I was interested in the job and that I submitted my resume online. I did that and by Thursday morning the HR department called me and told me to take an assessment and that she would make sure to give my resume to the Supervisor. Thursday afternoon the Supervisor called me about an interview on Friday.  So Friday morning i had my interview, where I had to draw blood (on HER!!) ,which I haven't done in 4 years.  I was on point and drew it with NO PAIN!!  By Friday afternoon the HR department called me and told me that I was the top candidate!! YESSSS!!!!!   SO, I am driving down to Kansas City Sunday night for a one day training on Monday and then I start my job on Tuesday.  I'm so relieved and thankful!!  Praise GOD!!

Also this last week I joined CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) and have started my training.  I'm so excited to be during this.  I have wanted to be a child advocate for a long time and am glad that I have FINALLY taken the step to make a difference.


I went to the cooking club for the SAA with L and a girl named "K". Everyone that was there was LDS and that was a little uncomfortable to me, but I had a good time and for the most part they were nice to me.

Give me a job already!!

I have been waiting for two weeks now to hear about a job that i applied for.  I called last week and they said that they had not made a decision but should by the end of the week.  So I called again yesterday and was told that they still had not made a decision.  WTF!!! 

How am I supposed to take that?  Either I didn't get the job and you just don't have the balls to tell me OR you are hoping to find a better candidate by waiting which to be says "You're just not good enough"

I'm just sick to death of this waiting game.. I NEED A JOB!!!

Special Garments, Peanut Butter Cookies and Awkwardness

So last night was a very weird evening. The two ladies from the spouse group came over (they are both LDS).   They were terrified...LOL   It's not funny but it is totally funny.  So they came in and met NH and sat down and they were just talking small talk and I think waiting for me to bring up the subject about what happened, but I wasn't going to (insert evil laugh), so after about a half hour of idol chat and the two talking amongst themselves one of the ladies (L) finally approached the subject.


The whole thing was so awkward and just weird, but I believe (and I checked with NH) that they were sincere in their apology and wanting to make it right.  I think it shocked L the most to find out how much in common she had with me (reading, cooking, crafts, Halloween, etc).   And at one point she was crying and at other I had them laughing at my gay jokes!  Maybe they were laughing in terror idk.


Anyway,


  So they have asked that I come to some of the clubs and check them out so that I can meet some people and they will work on how to educate the group on the ways of gay (my words not theirs).  I made a joke about if they touched me they would leave their husbands for women and you should have seen the look on the other lady's face (A)... hahahah.... I thought she was going to pass out!  Then L hugged me and said she didn't care and so A I think felt she had too and gave me this really awkward hug.lol   ALL in all it was a good experience so we will see.... Maybe I will make friends with these Morons! oops I mean Mormons.

It's been a crazy month

There has been much going on since I posted last.  I still haven't gotten a job.  I feel like this is a no win situation. I always get asked in the interview why I came to Kirksville. I have one of two choices.  Either tell the truth, which tells the interviewer that I'm moving in 2 years or lie. So far I haven't found a good lie to tell. UGH....I am also very over qualified for every job and no one wants to give me a chance because  I will be bored or not want the pay. I'm so depressed about this. UGH

So there is a group here on campus for spouses, significant others and partners. It was one of the reason why we decided to come to Kirksville. It has different clubs for each spouse to join and most were things that I wanted to do. I was super excited to join this group and make friends and have stuff to do here since there isn't much to do.  Anyway, they had a general meeting to introduce the clubs and talk about the group.  When I got there no one would sit by me or talk to me and after the meeting I tried to go to the different club tables and talk to people and I actually had people turn their backs to me. I left went home and started crying.  I think I cried for about an hour. I wasn't going to do anything about it and NH joined the Diversity Committee at school in hopes to shed light to what happen.  Well turns out its not really what the group is about.  So I decided to write a letter to the faculty advisor and the spouse advisor about what happened and how I felt.  The faculty advisor emailed me and I met her for lunch....Well long story short the president of this group is coming over tomorrow to meet with me and I don't know what...........So we will see what happens..........Did I mention that she is LDS?  LOL

I have joined the book club and the Canterbury club at church.  It's still so strange to me to be going to church and actually enjoying it!! lol  Last weekend was the blessing of the animals and we took Daphne.  She had so much fun and was so well behaved.  It was a good time.

As for everything else, I am super depressed and my health is not great.  I think I have a gluten allergy but its really hard to limit my diet and eat only meat and veggies since we have no income coming in.  I also cant go to the doctor or a counselor for my depression.  I can't seem to get motivated to work out or do much of anything...UGH... I wish this was easier!!